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21 Signs You Might Be a Terrible Christian

I had a discussion with someone today who told smugly told me how much he loved when Mormons came to his door, so he could put them in their place. I said, “Aren’t those usually young kids just trying to fulfill their required mission?”

“Yep,” he said. “And they need to learn something about messing with a true Christian.”

It was on the way home I was thinking about this list.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely no one’s shining example of Christianity. But I still think there are some cultural examples of faith that actually hurt our cause (some would argue that blogs like this are one!). For the most part, I will admit that this is a list of things I find terribly annoying with a wonderful click-bait title (blogging wannabes take note).

You might be a terrible Christian if:

  1. You love to put Mormons/Jehovah’s Witnesses in their place when they come knocking
  2. You think the original language of the Bible was King James
  3. You’re a one-issue voter
  4. You think a banana is atheist kryptonite
  5. You have ever said, “We should just turn that place into a parking lot (or glass).”
  6. You demand that the culture caters to your holiday preferences
  7. You think Jesus is a proponent of unregulated, free-market capitalism
  8. You blame women when men lust
  9. You have a foreign policy which gives Israel an unconditional free pass
  10. You believe success and wealth are a sign of God’s approval
  11. You have an “it’s all going to burn anyway” mindset about the environment
  12. You don’t believe you have to leave a tip because you tithe (or else you leave a tract)
  13. You think you’re a scientist because you read some Ken Ham books
  14. You think your theology makes you an expert on sociology, psychiatry, sociology, anthropology, etc.
  15. You think you’re being persecuted because someone disagrees with you
  16. You think you can separate your business practice from your Christian convictions
  17. You think you’re a really good example of Christianity
  18. You think you’re exempted from Christ’s call to love your enemies
  19. You want to end abortion and welfare
  20. You laughed when Sarah Palin said, “Waterboarding is how we baptize terrorists.”
  21. You think atheists just don’t believe in God because they’re mad at him

What did I miss? Leave me a comment. Feel free to also leave comments like, “Who do you think you are Mr. Judgmental!?”, “Humility demands that I say that I’m a terrible Christian”, “When you criticize the church,” and “No one’s good except the Lord. Therefore, we’re all equally terrible.”

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7 Comments Post a comment
  1. I wholeheartedly agree with this post! I honestly was afraid of reading this at first because I scanned through some points and thought maybe another blog posted it you were going to criticize it. Because I honestly know too many Christians who are EXACTLY like this, and I was afraid I was alone in my views.

    August 14, 2014
  2. Thank you for your candid comments! For years the terms “good” and “bad” placed before Christian have been an enormous irritant. Especially when used to claim greater holiness than some other denomination. And as Jesus noted, “Only God is good” therefore if we are seeking to be Good we are still seeking to be God, not one of His children who have the joy of being in Him.

    August 14, 2014
  3. wendon74 #

    Reblogged this on Progressive Rubber Boots and commented:
    I enjoy the conversations I have with the JWs that come by. They are grwat people.

    August 14, 2014
  4. I like how things were presented starting with the title and going downward. Too often you see a clash between those who fit these criticisms (who insist that anyone who disagrees with them or votes differently than them hates God) and equally militant atheists (who insist that the bad behavior of the first group is justification for saying All religion is an evil blight to liberate the world from).

    Even if they Say they are Christian, people who fit this list are a cross between shamanism and in-crowd behavior. The shamanism part applies to elements like the Ken Hamm stuff. They hate science because they consider it sacrilegious to describe the world as a place of order and structure (nevermind about mentions of God’s Plan as part of the core of Christian theology). They demand that the Only way to view the world’s workings is as a result of a capricious deity. It justifies an approach of having the world be a scary place and people needing the “protection” accorded to them from following the lead of an autocratic religious leader. The in-crowd part applies to the political angle where candidates are blessed by their party association

    August 14, 2014
  5. Regarding Point No. 2: As a Catholic, I know that the King James Version of the Bible isn’t the be-all, end-all original draft. St. Jerome’s Vulgate all the way! 🙂

    Seriously, though, I’m with you on all 21 points. And there’s no reason to be rude to Mormon missionaries or Jehovah’s Witnesses, especially if you’re a devout Christian.

    August 15, 2014
  6. huppster #

    xx. you identify strongly with a single denomination
    I used to argue with Christians I knew about why my Nazarene faith was better than their Baptist or Catholic or (insert denom. here) when I really did not have the experience to make that judgment. Now I prefer to identify with the building I go to and liken myself to a Jesus follower than to any specific sect.
    I admit I relate strongly to #1. I have invited Mormons into my home to debate the accuracy of the book of Mormon, but mostly to keep them from coming back (it worked.)
    I have had friendly conversations with the JW’s that came by once a week for 5+ years. They are good people and when you think about it, Christians should have similarly strong convictions about door to door missions.

    August 17, 2014
  7. Teller dog #

    Guilty on all counts.

    August 23, 2014

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